...

I'm not sure in everything now. All bad things happen together and I'm so tired now. Hopefully this will be the last one by now and hopefully next year would be a bright new year.

Prayer

God,

Things seemed to be calming down following the sound of Christmas hymns, signalling the end of the year. For this, I continue to lay down all that we are currently facing before you, my Father.

He has gotten a lot better after the surgery but he is still quite weak. Lord I pray to you, that you would continue to help him with his recovery. May Lord's grace be with him. It seemed that he had some infections on his wounds currently. We pray to you Father God that all will be healed according to your will. You have saved him from the darkness numerous times. Surely, Father, you would continue to bless him with this recovery journey.

Lord, I give thanks that you have shown grace to me throughout the exams that I have faced so far. Thursday would be the final exam. I believe none in this world who understand me like you do. You know my nervousness, you know my pain. Lord, I lay down this before you and pray that by Lord's guidance, may I complete this year's studies.

She'll be having her driving test tomorrow. She seemed to be really worried about it. Last few days, she cried by herself all of a sudden but I never knew why. If I would say, her emotional state seemed to be a little disruptive recently. Lord, I may still be a student, but I would not like to have to conduct assessments on her. I pray to you, Father God, that you would strengthen her and show her how much you have cared and loved her through all the things that she is currently facing.

Both of them will be flying off next week. No matter what, all humans are vulnerable to natural disaster. Lord, it's not that I have any meaning behind saying all this but I pray that Lord, no matter the distance, may Lord's guardians be with them throughout the journey. May them arrive safely at their destination.

We lay down all before you. Health, wealth, studies, results, employment; all and all before you. May Lord's grace be with us.

In Jesus' precious name I pray,
Amen.

Prayer

Father God,

I understand throughout this whole time, how much do You love us. Just like Lot, faithful people will come to meet with many different circumstances. Lord I pray, that You understand that no matter how much trouble we come to meet, we shall not waver. For this, I also pray to You that you could strengthen all our hearts in one as a family, as your sons and daughters.

Lord, there are things going on in our lives and I know that Lord, you understand what I meant by all this and have been with us. Hereby, I pray to you Father God to guide each and everyone of us. Strengthen our faith, strengthen our body and heart in standing before You so that by the end of the day, we could still say proudly that "we are your beloved children".

How long has it been for him to stay in the hospital? Lord, I am sure that You understand his condition much more better than my understanding. You understand his joy in all the hopes, You understand his pain and all his worries. Lord, may Your grace be with him. Please Lord, let this be the last operation he would need to go through in his life. More than any doctors in this world, You are the healer, You are the God. May You guard his body and heart so that he could once again stand before everyone to give praise to You, Father God.

Other than that, the business, health, exams, results and work; may Lord bless us and may Your grace pour down abundantly on us. Lord, have mercy in us. When everyone were to be gathered for the same purpose, all shall grant by Lord's almighty power. We pray that all shall be done according to the Lord's will.

In Jesus' precious name I pray,
Amen.

Adventure - Part 6

One month have passed ever since the passing of the proposal. It was then, time to look at the results. The results came out surprisingly positive, which led to the King being very happy and satisfied with it. And thus, decided to give a wish for Emi who provided him with the great idea.

"I don't think that my idea was that great that I should receive such great honors. Besides that, I think the people who participated in this proposal should be given higher priority in comparison to me." Emi replied humbly.

"Dad, that's not a good way to thank Emi. She would never receive anything as gifts. You should just think about a proper gift and order her to accept it. That way would be much more better." Elyssa interrupted.

The King took her advice and started to ponder very seriously concerning the "appropriate gift".

Just then, Elyssa interrupted again, "How about giving her some authority? I've been thinking about it but have not been able to think of an appropriate title for her. She has been very hardworking in her duty and even in her studies. I'm quite certain that she is now better than me in that," smiling brightly while saying this.

"As a princess, don't you feel embarrassed saying that?" the King said while smirking. After thinking a while, "Yes, I've decided! Look forward to it."

Adventure - Part 5

"How about you? What do you think, Elyssa?"
"Huh? Me? Erm..the same as Edward?"
"Hrm..I doubt, really!"
"Er..Your Majesty, I have been studying with Princess Elyssa for quite a while and we did touch a little about political studies. So, if you would like to listen to my opinion for a little for a change of mind," voiced out Emi, all of a sudden.

Both Edward and Elyssa were shocked about this while the Queen glared immensely at Emi.

"Oh, but it was not such a great idea. I just thought that after listening to the Prince and Princess' opinion, Your Majesty seemed to be a little confused. So, I thought that if I were to put in a little idea if it could be of any use, so that if possible, it could help in easing Your Majesty's frown. However, if Your Majesty does not wish for it,.."
"Yeah, sure. That was kind of you. Let's listen to your opinion then," the King interrupted.

"I think that since our neighbour was quite fond about building the polling system in between two countries' border and we could not possibly stop them in any means, then we should just approve it. However,.."
"Hah! I thought that you might have some brilliant ideas. And yet, aren't you just copying my children's idea, useless?" the Queen snapped all of a sudden.
"I...I'm sorry!" replied Emi instantly while bowing down earnestly.
"It's fine. Please continue. You're not done aren't you?" answered the King so as to break the ice, seeing as the Queen has not intention in relieving Emi in her bow.
"Eh..I mean, YES!" Emi answered while quickly returned to her upright standing position.

"However, we could provide them with a trial period. For the time being, we could set a few small booth so as to be the stand-in for the polling system to check the citizens' reaction towards the idea. This way, we could answer our neighbour righteously, and if the results came out to be unsatisfied, we would have a good reason in turning down their ideas without having the risk of making the relationship between two countries turning sour."

"Hrm..yeah. That should be a good idea. But it would still cost quite a lot since we would be expected to provide the funding for the temporary booth as well as the labour. Also, how long would the trial last? If it was only a week, it would be too short to actually check out the citizens' response. However, if it went on for a few months, it would be too costly for us."

"I think one month would be an appropriate length of time. This way, it shouldn't be too costly. Meanwhile, we could have negotiate with Rachialis (neighbouring country) concerning the cost. Probably, they could provide small amount of funding for the booth while we could provide labour. However, if by any means that the amount of funding provided by Rachialis could not support all booth for a month, it would most likely still be able to support for half a month. That means we were only required to fund for half a month. In addition, the booths could be of manual made since they were only for temporary means. We could request the country's carpenter in providing us the material or if possible, labour as well in hand-making the booths. Of course, this should be done by volunteering. This way, it should save us quite a lot of money."

"But who would volunteer for such a big project while there's no pay at all? Our country's not as rich to the point where citizens could stay without a proper pay."

"Probably we could offer them something. A recognition from the country or some privilege in something that they wish for. So as to say, to provide them with materialistic payment rather than cash. Then the citizens should be satisfied with it." lasted Emi with a big smile.

Suddenly, she realized that all the royal members have been staring at her. Shocked, she quickly apologized for her impudent. Saying that she may have spoken too much even though she was very un-knowledgeable.

"No, no. It was brilliant! I think I could put this in the proposal for the Rachialis king," saying that, the King quickly retired to his study. The other royal members went off as well with the Prince, looking nonchalant, the Queen glaring hard while the Princess smiled brightly with pride.

Adventure - Part 4

Half a year went by.
Day by day, Emi gained more knowledge while the Princess slacked off.

Until, one day, in the royal common area where everyone was having their afternoon tea break, sat the King, Queen, Princess and Prince while Emi was standing at the side.
"Urghh..this is completely a mess? I've never thought that they could make such a groundless statement. Groundless as it may, being their neighbour, we could not even turn down their request. What do you think about it?" looking at Prince Edward, who will be the next-to-throne succeed-er, with hopeful eyes.
"Dad, I don't think I'm qualify yet to be giving a good enough idea about all these political issues. So I'm afraid that you might have to think about it yourself."
"At least give it a little thought. Besides, don't you think it's a good chance for you to utilize your knowledge so far? It's okay if it's not a brilliant idea, I just wanted to know how my son's progressing. After all, you're gonna be the next king after my retirement."
"Hrmm..I think, since we have no choice, we should just follow their lead in setting up the polling system on the border of two countries. This way, we could save the trouble of getting into a sour relationship with our neighbour. Furthermore, the citizens should be happy about this decision since it's gonna save them plenty of time for processing all the documents required just to go past the border for a simple few hours."
"Are you sure? But it's gonna be costing them a lot with the pay rates that they showed us this morning. If the citizens were to go back and forth for more than ten times a month, it would have cost them nearly a month's wages. How could they survive like that. Our economy is not that strong to support all of these."

Adventure - Part 3

Thus, began the life of Emi living as the Princess' personal assistant.

Being a Princess, Elyssa was required to study various of different materials. Despite that, she disliked them and would often fell asleep in her personal study period. Knowing this, the personal educator, Robin, would often give her tasks to be fulfilled for the next class. Elyssa was very annoyed with this fact and would always complained about it to her mother but only to receive the same reply over and over again.

"I hate this! Oh, I know. Why don't you follow me into my class and study my material for me? Then, you could do all my tasks for me! Isn't that brilliant idea?" said Elyssa to Emi.

"Erm..but are you sure it's fine, Your Highness? The materials are for you to study. Her Majesty was only looking forward for you to grow into a highly-educated and graceful princess."

"I'm graceful and pretty enough to need these sort of boring studies. Anyway, I've made up my mind on this. So, tomorrow, follow me to my class!" proclaimed Elyssa and went out to the garden for her afternoon tea break.

The next day,

"Why is she here, Princess? I'm sure that the Queen has only requested me to educate you only?" Robin complained. Being the senior educator of the palace, she certainly has the authority and courage to speak in that manner, even to a Blue Blood.

"Well, mom wouldn't argue with me if I've already made up my mind to have Emi here with me during my study period. So, I'm pretty sure that you wouldn't mind too. Right?" Elyssa glared sternly at Robin.

Robin shrugged. "Emi, get a seat."

Thus, began Emi's life to study and working on Elyssa's study materials.

Life Game (Life Impact Ministries)

Just finished the camp held in Perth, Australia. So tired. We've been in camp for 4 days, three nights. But we haven't been sleeping much at all. For four days, around 15 hours sleep. Way too tiring. Don't feel much during camp but after that it's really really tiring.
This is the second time I join the camp as a volunteer helper. Previously, there not much information provided which even though I joined, I can't even recall any good moments at all. However, this time, it's a perfect team. A group of 26 volunteers holding the camp for 66 campers. Provided with different events, games and performances, providing the campers with amazing living experience which reflect on the real life situation nearly 100%. The content are restricted to be made known unless to past-participants, so I couldn't explain much in this case. Interested? Look up information for this ministry! This camp was held throughout the world.

Yaye!

神様、今日わ最後です。ありがとございます！結果はっぴょわ１２・７です。それもお願いします！

明日たのみます

お願いします！

最後の試験わお願いします、神様！

ありがとうございます！！

今日わ試験がある。きんじょしますね。でもあたしの神様のおかげで、まだ行けると想う。すごっくかんぃあします。神様、ありがとございます！

だめ一日

今日は不味いことばかり、もしかれちゃった。なんか風邪がひちゃった。＝（

stress level increasing!

Nowadays, things are really getting hectic. I might not be able to write anything for quite a while.. tests, assignments and exams. This is getting busy and I truly feel like my life is depending on it. Annoying stuff and all negative stuff seemed to be attracted by me. I seriously don't understand what sort of bad luck am I having currently. Pray that God may be guiding me through all these thick and thin. I pray for God's wisdom, knowledge and memory as well when I am dealing with all my assessments.

勉強

あたしの神様、今急がしだ。試験お遭いだのすごく急がし。時間も無いで。神様、お願い、助けて下さい。
５・６エテス、ペパ二つ
６・６ペパ
１４・６ペパ
１７・６試験
２１・６試験
２６・６試験

心からの願いだから神様助けて下さい。

Adventure - Part 2 (Joining the Royals)

However, how could she survive alone in this foreign land? News came concerning the recruitment of servants for the royal palace due to recent death of the Princess’ attendant. This was like a dream came through for Emi who was at lost especially when she heard that the recruitment would be for young children since they would like to have someone closer in age with the Princess. The selection was harsh as the number who applied for the position was more than a hundred but only five would be selected – one as replacement as an attendant where the other four would be for additional helping hands within the palace. Selection was based on characteristics such as observant, attentive, hard-working and approachable. However, last but not least, the servants must be approved of by the Princess.

It might be fate, it might be luck. Emi got through the selection safely as one of the five. The last selection round was to make a short but creative self-introductory to the Princess. This round was for the Princess to choose her attendant. Since young, Emi has loved music very much. However, she was not provided with the chance to learn it. Despite that, Emi tried using glasses of water to create music back when she was still staying in the orphanage. Of course, the care-takers did not know about it. Using this little knowledge she has, she played a simple music and made her self-introductory in a form of a song – a song created by herself. Luckily, the Princess thought that it was quite interesting and selected her as her personal attendant.


*It was quite short since I got lazy and was quite busy these few days due to some unseen problems.

Fear?

There are always times where you did your best but the results came out to be disappointing. It doesn't really matter, be tough and break through it the next time it come again.
Same time, similar condition, but what would you do differently? That's the main focus. Don't get agitated for what have already been the past, don't lost confidence as that fear would be useless for your next experience.
Just like a soldier who has been through many wars and has became afraid of death, violence and blood. But as orders arrived for the next battle, he would have no choice but to follow.
Worries, scared and lost confidence. All those may be part of your experience, causing you to fear the next approach. But these are all useless, they can't help you in anything with all these emotions.
Have faith and find courage. Prepare for the next approach and you might find some amazing and extraordinary results forming unconsciously.

However, easier said than to be done. What could you do if fear is kicking in? Who can you rely on to break through this test?

Adventure- Part 1: The Past

“The girl has grown up so much. So much to the point that it has been annoying! Can’t you think of a way to get rid of her?”, said the Queen of Sabamalu, looking fiercely at her attendant, Jeff.

“Mom, can you stop trying to get rid of Emi. Can’t you see that she’s my sister?”, Elissa, the first Princess of Sabamalu.

“She’s not your sister, Elissa. I don’t remember giving birth to such insolent.”

“But dad has recognized her as his daughter! And we’ll be having her as our country’s second princess in just a few days’ time.”

“Shut up! There’s no way I’m going to approve it. Your dad just likes to act on himself. Why are you and your younger brother, Edward, helping that stupid girl too? Can’t you see that she’s trying to trick all of you into giving her that status?”

“Well, no?”

“Argh! Nevermind. You are all just too simple-minded to be tricked by that girl. I’m exhausted after having that conversation with you. You are allowed to leave now.”

“Yes, mum”, answered Elissa quietly and walked out of the room.

Few days later, the ceremony began and ended successfully. Emi, who was once an orphaned-servant for the royal house has been given the title “the second Princess of Sabamalu”. And she was the first ever commoner who upon gaining her title, was allowed to be involved in the country’s political issues. After the ceremony, Princess Emi stood quietly in her room, recalling how much trouble she has gone through in all eight years that she has lived.

Being an orphan sent to an orphanage in the Winderia country at the age of three, her life has always been a bitter one. The orphanage was taken care of by a couple. There were more than 20 children living in the orphanage which was situated near the sea of Winderia. Even though the female care-taker had always abuse Emi, the male care-taker would always care for her. However, life was still difficult as the male care-taker was not always in the orphanage. Day by day, the abusive actions increased. Emi would always get cuts in her body. There was also once where she nearly drowned due to the female care-taker’s carelessness. Grief, Emi decided to leave the orphanage. While being in the orphanage, Emi was not educated based on her age, she had some classes due to the country’s requirement which stated that all children must be educated but the level of education was quite poor. She decided then, to be independent and leave the orphanage. As a three years-old girl, she begged vigorously for a job in a small diner. Even though the pay was considerably low, it was enough to make her happy and looking forward for a hope in life. And thus, four years have passed since then.

One day, a couple came by, seeing that Emi was quite adorable and hardworking as a seven years-old child, they decided to adopt her. All procedures for the adoption were completed within days while, the female care-taker was thinking of ways to decline the adoption for Emi. Few days later, the couple came by again to fetch Emi but was rejected by the female care-taker, saying that she was sick and would require a long period of time for recovery. After a long chat with the care-taker, the couple gave up and said that they would return upon her recovery. However, that has never happened. Despaired, Emi decided to leave by herself. She used the money that she has earned thus far to get a train ticket. She has decided to leave the orphanage and to leave the country. However, her salary was only sufficient for her to arrive in a nearby country even though she has wanted to flee as far as she could. Thus, she arrived in Sabamalu when she was seven.

20th May 2013 (This one doesn't have a title yet but this was the date i created it)

Do you think that I don’t understand your feelings? Who do you think have been going through all these for the last four years? I try to be understanding as much as I can and therefore, haven’t been complaining much. Not that I would actually complaint. I mean who am I suppose to complaint to?

You said that we don’t understand your feelings. Well, I’m not sure about her but don’t you dare put me in the same level as her. All of you are the same for me. Understanding? Me? Why should I? as if you guys have ever try to understand me? If you don’t put yourself in the same shoe, how can you ask someone else for better?

Your feelings’ hurt? Then how about me? When you try to open your mouth to scold someone, have you ever thought of the person’s behalf? I dare said that I tried but couldn’t be 100% up till now. But you, who have never been to any hardship, you dare to tell me that? Who do you think you are? You’re just a brat who have just passed her 18^th birthday and you think that you are such a grown up? You are just a spoilt brat for me.

Anyway, everyone’s the same. Telling everyone that they’re hurt. My words hurt you? Then, have you ever thought that your words hurt me? Just some petty words and you said that you’re hurt and started getting angry and go on and on about all those useless stuff. If people could die so easily, am I not the first to die? Have you ever put yourself in my position? I don’t even know what I have ever done to all of you. One called me a bitch, one called me rude unlike her rest of children, one called me stupid and useless, one scolded me for thinking about you guys and the other scolded for saying I’m not thinking. Don’t you guys think that you’re very contradicting?

Am I not your daughter by flesh and blood? If I were a bitch, then what does that makes you?

Am I not taught by you? If I were rude, does it make you better – the one who taught me all about life?

You called me stupid and useless. But are you any better?

Thinking too much made you angry. But what would happen if I don’t ever think? Does it make it better? Or is it because you never think of others that make you expect so?

Or – I’m not thinking when I’m saying and have hurt your feelings? Do you think you’re any better than me in thinking about others’ feelings? I tell you in all honesty, that you are worse than me. For I know that it hurts when I spoke of it but you don’t ever realize that you’re hurting someone.

Irony? Yeah, I think so too. And that’s how life has been so far. People can’t do much to change the surrounding people. If you would like to feel less of all these, why don’t you try to become braver?

Dreamer

It’s not what you say, it’s what you do, isn’t it? He’s just so stupidly cowardly to be unable to do a simple task like that. All he can do is just to bluff, saying how great he is. Stupid! Didn’t he go all the way to England for that purpose? Earning all our respect and yet he came back just to disappoint us. What the hell is he thinking? Hasn’t he already wasted more than five years to study and undergo this sort of training? Hasn’t he become immune towards this sort of things after all these years? He’s just purely an idiot!

Guess what he said to me before he went England? Bluffing on and on saying that he is the greatest man on earth. That idiot! Think he can be any greater than God? Going England. What’s so great about that? I can go there by myself if I got the money. Sheesh! After all, only these kinds of petty words can come out from his stupid mouth. Now that I think back, I’m so stupid to let such words to frustrate me. I should have known that he would never be able to accomplish such an “impossible” task for him. His stupid beliefs in supernatural powers are driving him crazy. Scaring himself with those fantasy. Such a useless guy. If he were not my childhood friend, I would regret for my whole life for being best friend with someone like him. Always telling me that I should just worry about myself, saying that after his trip, he would definitely be a famous detective known throughout the world. Idiot! He’s such a dreamer! Does he really think that he is capable in doing so?

Flying all the way to England, saying that he would definitely uncover the truth behind the “haunted mansion murder case”. Oh My Gosh! This case has been left open ever since it happened three years ago. Every year, hundreds of detectives would be sent all over the world but up till now, none have discovered the truth behind. Three years! Hundreds of detectives failed every year! He thinks that he can solve it? Where does all his stupid confidence come from? This case is the only case where all the countries in the world would focus on. Taking on such a bloodcurdling case, which no one has been able to solve after the murder of more than a hundred people including a few with political influences, and especially after some witnesses gave testimonies stating that they heard voices of the dead victims coming from the mansion, does he really think he has the guts to solve it? AND especially when the mansion murder case soon came up with the word haunted! It’s definitely his biggest weak point. What makes him think that he is capable? Arghhhh…he’s just an idiot!

He knew it! He knew that he would end up being a scaredy cat, hiding behind the backs of the others. Well, probably. But how can he not? I mean, he knew all the “paranormal” mystery behind the case and yet! How can he be so happy to be selected as one of the representative detective of the year to solve the case? He even jumped up and down stating that the Goddess of luck is finally with him and that he would definitely make a prefect deduction and then the whole world would start acknowledge him as the world’s best detective, like Sherlock Holmes. Yeah right! In his dreams! Now that I recall, luckily I was not absorbed within his fantasy or else it would definitely disappoint me more. Phew! Does he really think that things would always go so smoothly? What is he? A three-year-old kid?

Haiz..But as a best friend of him, I would like to wish him the best wishes, hoping that his LAME dream would come true. I went to the airport to pick him up this morning, hoping that he would be his usual self, cheerful and boasting all the way back to home. But things just wouldn’t go as well you think it will. I saw him coming out from the departure lounge and greeted him but he was quite sullen I supposed. He neither greeted me nor did he let out a word during the way back home. I questioned him about his job but he never answered me. After much pressuring, he ended up telling me the whole story. Explaining how spooky the mansion was that he thought there might be some ghostly presence when his colleagues laughed at him and made fun of him throughout the whole ten days and how he was unable to discover anything useful for his deduction and ended up giving a stupid one when everyone laughed and said that he was a dreamer and was not suited to be a detective. As he said, he was nearly in tears. I knew that such things would happen but I never thought that he would be that hurt. “See? I told you that you’re not fitted for the job. Why don’t you quit before it’s too late?” was what I thought I would say but ended up unable to pass him the message when I saw him sulking. Oh well, I guess that’s what happen when you can’t do what you say. 

*P.S: this one was a monologue created few years ago. It was originally for assignment purpose, but well, just thought of uploading it all of a sudden with another new monologue i created few days ago.