It has been such a long time since I clicked into this link again. I'm just so bored today and doesn't feel like doing anything 'cause of the extreme weather. Last year July, my sister bought a miniature schnauzer and thus, the house became lively and I have less time to be in front of the computer, doing nothing and updating this blog.
Now, it's 2015. I'm so excited to be in my last year of my study. I really hope that I could go through all this. だて、好いも悪いも、今年わ最後なんです。だからお互い頑張りましょ。
Wednesday, 28 January 2015
Sunday, 30 March 2014
Normal update
It has been a while, I'm actually quite lazy to continuing updating the story and after the hectic last year, I feel like there's quite a big change in my leisure occupation. Somehow, I'm not that motivated to keep on track with everything I've done so far. Wonder if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Anyhow, now going on track with uni stuff and with the work assessment to be completed. Things are a bit out of hand since it's not easy to find a place like that, fulfilling all the requirements, especially when you're an international students and don't know much people in this city. Jobs are on and off as well. So much uncertainty ahead. Pray that God keep me on track for all of these things that happening and will happen. =D
Saturday, 4 January 2014
It is by God's grace that he left us
It was early morning around 5am when my sister came in to wake me up, informing me about his critical state after his operation. At first, I was quite shocked that I gave no reaction. After a few minutes, as my senses returned to face the reality, I soon realized that droplets of tears were rolling down my cheeks. I prayed and prayed earnestly with my sister that morning before she started heading out for her early shift. After approximately 20 minutes of prayer, my tears started to calmed down as I heard God speaking to me. This was what he told me that morning, which effectively stopped my worries and tears.
"Don't worry. He'll be fine this time."
Even though I felt safe, probably it was by human nature to worry. I can't exactly remember what was the reason back then which led to me making more than ten continuous call every hour to my parents asking about his condition. Probably it was just my lack of faith? I don't know, and I don't even dare to think about it. God's words are definite. I know he'll be fine. This time that is. In my mind, I thought God's meaning was for this time's hospitalization. Never have thought that it would only apply for that critical state, that moment. Everyone continued this struggle and this battle with him for more than 30 days. I really thought that he will be fine and I'll still see him again after a few months.
However, God's will could not be bent. The last operation that he had around three weeks ago, once again put him in a critical state. This time, my prayer was something like this.
"Why, God? I thought that You have told me that he'll be fine this time? Please do not let him suffer more. Since he'll end up being fine, why not let him skip all these sufferings, why not let us skip all these worries."
*It sounded quite rude, I know it. I did apologize after that to God. Haha.
The prayer continued for more than 30 minutes with my sisters and my parents who were on the other side of the phone and computer respectively. During these praying period, I heard God talking to me. Again, it was really clear. Last time, I was quite slow in understanding that it was God's comforting words. But this, I recognized fully that it was God speaking to me. This was what he told me this time.
"This is it. Let it go."
What kind of sister would I be if I really do so? I couldn't accept it and continued begging to God. However, after the whole incident where I think back about my prayers again, I realized that I have already accepted it. My prayer, has switched from "let him be healed" to "let me see him one last time at least". After nearly an hours' crying and praying, it was announced that he had left us. I didn't get to see him one last time. How heart broken it was! I went into my room, got out bible and read a short paragraph from John 11: 25-26. From then on, I decided that all will be according to God's will. Surely he has better plans. I thought that I would ask for a resurrection when I see his body.
After two days, I finally arrived. I went in, grabbed his hands and said a simple prayer. (Something as following).
"Lord, I pray that if this was not your will and he was not willing to leave yet, let him arise as how you have done in the past because only you are possible in doing such miracles. However, if this is your will and he has said "yes", let him return to you happily."
We did a memorial the next day, we went to location to prepare things, etc. By that time, I went over to him, looking through the small window of the coffin, I thought I saw a smile (It may sound a bit creepy but it was the truth, probably just a feeling, but I did saw/felt so). I still said the same prayer every time I went to him. Not until the last day (the day for his cremation).
On the cremation day, during our journey towards the place, I suddenly remembered the smile that I felt at that time. Immediately when I arrived, I went to him and looked closely. Probably he has really been resurrected, that's what I thought. But unfortunately, when I looked closely, there was no smile. By then, I have understood. He has really chosen to go back and it was by God's will for him to cease all sufferings in this world.
After so many days, I still thought about this whole thing. I don't really know the purpose of it but I felt that I was supposed to tell someone about this. Even though, up till now, while writing this, I can't really understand. But last night, somehow, God gave me a really strong urge in telling someone about this story. He kept "nag" me about this that I didn't get to sleep until I promised him to tell someone. That's why I'm writing this! =D
*It's quite rude of me to say that God nag me but what I meant what that he kept talking to me for the whole night about this incident.
"Don't worry. He'll be fine this time."
Even though I felt safe, probably it was by human nature to worry. I can't exactly remember what was the reason back then which led to me making more than ten continuous call every hour to my parents asking about his condition. Probably it was just my lack of faith? I don't know, and I don't even dare to think about it. God's words are definite. I know he'll be fine. This time that is. In my mind, I thought God's meaning was for this time's hospitalization. Never have thought that it would only apply for that critical state, that moment. Everyone continued this struggle and this battle with him for more than 30 days. I really thought that he will be fine and I'll still see him again after a few months.
However, God's will could not be bent. The last operation that he had around three weeks ago, once again put him in a critical state. This time, my prayer was something like this.
"Why, God? I thought that You have told me that he'll be fine this time? Please do not let him suffer more. Since he'll end up being fine, why not let him skip all these sufferings, why not let us skip all these worries."
*It sounded quite rude, I know it. I did apologize after that to God. Haha.
The prayer continued for more than 30 minutes with my sisters and my parents who were on the other side of the phone and computer respectively. During these praying period, I heard God talking to me. Again, it was really clear. Last time, I was quite slow in understanding that it was God's comforting words. But this, I recognized fully that it was God speaking to me. This was what he told me this time.
"This is it. Let it go."
What kind of sister would I be if I really do so? I couldn't accept it and continued begging to God. However, after the whole incident where I think back about my prayers again, I realized that I have already accepted it. My prayer, has switched from "let him be healed" to "let me see him one last time at least". After nearly an hours' crying and praying, it was announced that he had left us. I didn't get to see him one last time. How heart broken it was! I went into my room, got out bible and read a short paragraph from John 11: 25-26. From then on, I decided that all will be according to God's will. Surely he has better plans. I thought that I would ask for a resurrection when I see his body.
After two days, I finally arrived. I went in, grabbed his hands and said a simple prayer. (Something as following).
"Lord, I pray that if this was not your will and he was not willing to leave yet, let him arise as how you have done in the past because only you are possible in doing such miracles. However, if this is your will and he has said "yes", let him return to you happily."
We did a memorial the next day, we went to location to prepare things, etc. By that time, I went over to him, looking through the small window of the coffin, I thought I saw a smile (It may sound a bit creepy but it was the truth, probably just a feeling, but I did saw/felt so). I still said the same prayer every time I went to him. Not until the last day (the day for his cremation).
On the cremation day, during our journey towards the place, I suddenly remembered the smile that I felt at that time. Immediately when I arrived, I went to him and looked closely. Probably he has really been resurrected, that's what I thought. But unfortunately, when I looked closely, there was no smile. By then, I have understood. He has really chosen to go back and it was by God's will for him to cease all sufferings in this world.
After so many days, I still thought about this whole thing. I don't really know the purpose of it but I felt that I was supposed to tell someone about this. Even though, up till now, while writing this, I can't really understand. But last night, somehow, God gave me a really strong urge in telling someone about this story. He kept "nag" me about this that I didn't get to sleep until I promised him to tell someone. That's why I'm writing this! =D
*It's quite rude of me to say that God nag me but what I meant what that he kept talking to me for the whole night about this incident.
Wednesday, 18 December 2013
...
I'm not sure in everything now. All bad things happen together and I'm so tired now. Hopefully this will be the last one by now and hopefully next year would be a bright new year.
Tuesday, 26 November 2013
Prayer
God,
Things seemed to be calming down following the sound of Christmas hymns, signalling the end of the year. For this, I continue to lay down all that we are currently facing before you, my Father.
He has gotten a lot better after the surgery but he is still quite weak. Lord I pray to you, that you would continue to help him with his recovery. May Lord's grace be with him. It seemed that he had some infections on his wounds currently. We pray to you Father God that all will be healed according to your will. You have saved him from the darkness numerous times. Surely, Father, you would continue to bless him with this recovery journey.
Lord, I give thanks that you have shown grace to me throughout the exams that I have faced so far. Thursday would be the final exam. I believe none in this world who understand me like you do. You know my nervousness, you know my pain. Lord, I lay down this before you and pray that by Lord's guidance, may I complete this year's studies.
She'll be having her driving test tomorrow. She seemed to be really worried about it. Last few days, she cried by herself all of a sudden but I never knew why. If I would say, her emotional state seemed to be a little disruptive recently. Lord, I may still be a student, but I would not like to have to conduct assessments on her. I pray to you, Father God, that you would strengthen her and show her how much you have cared and loved her through all the things that she is currently facing.
Both of them will be flying off next week. No matter what, all humans are vulnerable to natural disaster. Lord, it's not that I have any meaning behind saying all this but I pray that Lord, no matter the distance, may Lord's guardians be with them throughout the journey. May them arrive safely at their destination.
We lay down all before you. Health, wealth, studies, results, employment; all and all before you. May Lord's grace be with us.
In Jesus' precious name I pray,
Amen.
Things seemed to be calming down following the sound of Christmas hymns, signalling the end of the year. For this, I continue to lay down all that we are currently facing before you, my Father.
He has gotten a lot better after the surgery but he is still quite weak. Lord I pray to you, that you would continue to help him with his recovery. May Lord's grace be with him. It seemed that he had some infections on his wounds currently. We pray to you Father God that all will be healed according to your will. You have saved him from the darkness numerous times. Surely, Father, you would continue to bless him with this recovery journey.
Lord, I give thanks that you have shown grace to me throughout the exams that I have faced so far. Thursday would be the final exam. I believe none in this world who understand me like you do. You know my nervousness, you know my pain. Lord, I lay down this before you and pray that by Lord's guidance, may I complete this year's studies.
She'll be having her driving test tomorrow. She seemed to be really worried about it. Last few days, she cried by herself all of a sudden but I never knew why. If I would say, her emotional state seemed to be a little disruptive recently. Lord, I may still be a student, but I would not like to have to conduct assessments on her. I pray to you, Father God, that you would strengthen her and show her how much you have cared and loved her through all the things that she is currently facing.
Both of them will be flying off next week. No matter what, all humans are vulnerable to natural disaster. Lord, it's not that I have any meaning behind saying all this but I pray that Lord, no matter the distance, may Lord's guardians be with them throughout the journey. May them arrive safely at their destination.
We lay down all before you. Health, wealth, studies, results, employment; all and all before you. May Lord's grace be with us.
In Jesus' precious name I pray,
Amen.
Wednesday, 20 November 2013
Prayer
Father God,
I understand throughout this whole time, how much do You love us. Just like Lot, faithful people will come to meet with many different circumstances. Lord I pray, that You understand that no matter how much trouble we come to meet, we shall not waver. For this, I also pray to You that you could strengthen all our hearts in one as a family, as your sons and daughters.
Lord, there are things going on in our lives and I know that Lord, you understand what I meant by all this and have been with us. Hereby, I pray to you Father God to guide each and everyone of us. Strengthen our faith, strengthen our body and heart in standing before You so that by the end of the day, we could still say proudly that "we are your beloved children".
How long has it been for him to stay in the hospital? Lord, I am sure that You understand his condition much more better than my understanding. You understand his joy in all the hopes, You understand his pain and all his worries. Lord, may Your grace be with him. Please Lord, let this be the last operation he would need to go through in his life. More than any doctors in this world, You are the healer, You are the God. May You guard his body and heart so that he could once again stand before everyone to give praise to You, Father God.
Other than that, the business, health, exams, results and work; may Lord bless us and may Your grace pour down abundantly on us. Lord, have mercy in us. When everyone were to be gathered for the same purpose, all shall grant by Lord's almighty power. We pray that all shall be done according to the Lord's will.
In Jesus' precious name I pray,
Amen.
I understand throughout this whole time, how much do You love us. Just like Lot, faithful people will come to meet with many different circumstances. Lord I pray, that You understand that no matter how much trouble we come to meet, we shall not waver. For this, I also pray to You that you could strengthen all our hearts in one as a family, as your sons and daughters.
Lord, there are things going on in our lives and I know that Lord, you understand what I meant by all this and have been with us. Hereby, I pray to you Father God to guide each and everyone of us. Strengthen our faith, strengthen our body and heart in standing before You so that by the end of the day, we could still say proudly that "we are your beloved children".
How long has it been for him to stay in the hospital? Lord, I am sure that You understand his condition much more better than my understanding. You understand his joy in all the hopes, You understand his pain and all his worries. Lord, may Your grace be with him. Please Lord, let this be the last operation he would need to go through in his life. More than any doctors in this world, You are the healer, You are the God. May You guard his body and heart so that he could once again stand before everyone to give praise to You, Father God.
Other than that, the business, health, exams, results and work; may Lord bless us and may Your grace pour down abundantly on us. Lord, have mercy in us. When everyone were to be gathered for the same purpose, all shall grant by Lord's almighty power. We pray that all shall be done according to the Lord's will.
In Jesus' precious name I pray,
Amen.
Thursday, 3 October 2013
Adventure - Part 6
One month have passed ever since the passing of the proposal. It was then, time to look at the results. The results came out surprisingly positive, which led to the King being very happy and satisfied with it. And thus, decided to give a wish for Emi who provided him with the great idea.
"I don't think that my idea was that great that I should receive such great honors. Besides that, I think the people who participated in this proposal should be given higher priority in comparison to me." Emi replied humbly.
"Dad, that's not a good way to thank Emi. She would never receive anything as gifts. You should just think about a proper gift and order her to accept it. That way would be much more better." Elyssa interrupted.
The King took her advice and started to ponder very seriously concerning the "appropriate gift".
Just then, Elyssa interrupted again, "How about giving her some authority? I've been thinking about it but have not been able to think of an appropriate title for her. She has been very hardworking in her duty and even in her studies. I'm quite certain that she is now better than me in that," smiling brightly while saying this.
"As a princess, don't you feel embarrassed saying that?" the King said while smirking. After thinking a while, "Yes, I've decided! Look forward to it."
"I don't think that my idea was that great that I should receive such great honors. Besides that, I think the people who participated in this proposal should be given higher priority in comparison to me." Emi replied humbly.
"Dad, that's not a good way to thank Emi. She would never receive anything as gifts. You should just think about a proper gift and order her to accept it. That way would be much more better." Elyssa interrupted.
The King took her advice and started to ponder very seriously concerning the "appropriate gift".
Just then, Elyssa interrupted again, "How about giving her some authority? I've been thinking about it but have not been able to think of an appropriate title for her. She has been very hardworking in her duty and even in her studies. I'm quite certain that she is now better than me in that," smiling brightly while saying this.
"As a princess, don't you feel embarrassed saying that?" the King said while smirking. After thinking a while, "Yes, I've decided! Look forward to it."
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