Placement for a few weeks by now, quite busy but I've enjoyed it thus far. It's great that we get a very knowledgeable supervisor, she taught me a lot, giving me lots of feedbacks. But I hope I don't get reliant on her. It's human nature to take the easy road, no matter who it is. I thought I was doing fine, making positive progress while seeking for her support. But I never thought that the mid evaluation would be this bad. Slightly discouraged, actually, but VERY disappointed with myself. Have I picked the wrong way to seek support? I've always wanted re-assurance in all the things I do, and therefore, I seek for re-assurance, which seemed to be support-seeking or reliant for many people. But now, I truly regret my actions. If it would caused such misery to me now.
I pray that God would continue to walk with me to the end. I pray that despite all the stress that have been piling up, I would still be able to do my work properly. I pray that for all the work that I have put forward, I could at least help my clients to move forward. I pray that these hard work or experience would not be a waste; not for the clients, myself or even in the eyes of my supervisors.
I'll try to pull myself back, try not to be reliant on people too much, after all, I've been alone all these while. Why would I need support at this moment in my life. It's not required, nor is it optional. I won't let support-seeking be an option in my life. Not now, not ever!
After all, I only need HIM in my life and my life would be the greatest on earth.
I hope things would come to an end quickly. This placement is like a double-edge sword for me. The tension has risen too high, just like last time.
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